Raw is Curtis,customized bobbleheads
June 1st 2009
Show opens with a SATAN�S PLAYGROUND around the ring and Legacy inside of it. Orton talks about how Batista should be afraid of him in the cage match. Something to do with running his head into the cage over and over. I�m not sure if he�s trying to be serious or just stuck in some sort of robotic loop. Or maybe he�s an idiot. Orton flips a coin to decide which Legacy member faces Batista in a cage tonight. It�s Cody,custom bobblehead, the guy who got mangled by HHH in a cage not too long ago. Cody says Cage Matches are in his blood. Orton shows us how he will win by leaving the cage. He�s then interrupted by a prop. Oh wait, it�s Ric Flair. Ric says he�s here to tell Orton what he�s gonna do to him tonight.
Ric is stuck in a loop too, calling him a punk over and over. My god�one IS a robot and one is an idiot. I�ll let you guess which is which. Orton finally accepts his challenge. He then proceeds to say something that makes no sense at all but is somehow supposed to be threatening.
Batista vs,,. Cody Rhodes (Steel Cage Match)
Batista blocks every attempt by Cody to do anything, including a DDT. Cody tries to leap out of the cage but can�t run, getting his head squished by a boot against the cage. Batista decides using metal is too good of an idea and goes back to a regular assault until Cody kicks him, only to be thrown into the cage and take a spear. Orton makes his way out but Cody takes a spine buster. Rhodes tries to escape but he�s dragged off into the Batista Bomb form the top of the cage and the three. Despite Lillian having told us you could only win by escaping. Liar!
Winner: Batista
In the back, Big Show is whining about having to team up with the Miz. That�s what she said. They draw Cena�s partner out of a bag and it turns out it�s Chavo. Big Show says he will hurt Chavo if he gets in the way.
Its Diva tag time,Importance Of TQM In Success Of Emergency Services! Hey, where are you going?!
Mickie & Kelly Kelly vs. Maryse & Glamazon w/ Rosa
Beth starts us off and Mickie dodges her attacks, flipping out of a back breaker attempt. Mickie overpowers Phoenix and picks up a two count before Kelly tags in. Beth immediately just squashes her for a two count,personalized bobble heads. King says he got a French hug from Maryse which I assume just means it�s a hug with more tongue. Maryse tags in and gets taken down by Kelly,custom bobble head. Beth comes in and the ref just ignores her. Mickie lands a senton on Beth but Rose distracts for Beth to take out Mickie. Kelly turns around into a DDT from Maryse for three.
Winners: Glamazon & Maryse
We get a replay of how Cryme Tyme distracted Shelton and his partner for the Colon family. For some reason Primo and Carlito are going to take on Regal and Hardy�,personalized bobbleheads.whyyyy? Apparently they will be up for a title shot if they win despite not teaming against anyone else ever.
Regal & Matt Hardy vs,custom bobbleheads,Bicycling Preparedness. The Colons
Regal starts off with Primo and just delivers a pummeling before tagging in Hardy. Hardy slams him into the corner a couple of times before Regal comes in. King and Cole decide it�s worth constantly bickering over Hardy�s hand. Hardy tags himself in and tries to pick up a pin for himself to be a jerk. He delivers some leg drops and misses a last one after some taunting. Primo makes the tag as Regal comes in. A springboard dropkick levels regal, followed by a leg drop. Springboard elbow picks up a two count when Hardy breaks it up. Hardy cheap shots Primo, making Primo distract the ref. Hardy tries to use the cast on Carlito but he hits Regal, allowing the Apple Jack for the win.
Winners: Colons
Flair is just wandering in the parking lot when Batista approaches. Flair doesn�t want to be told to stop,,. Flair says people have forgotten. Who? Matt and Regal are in the back complaining to Vickie that they want another shot. They have a plan for her to take on Santino tonight in a warmup match. This causes a random outburst of Spanish. They explain it to her further in whispers before we cut to Cena running into Chavo in the back who says he has his back. Wait a minute�.Chavo has a shirt?
Back to ringside for The Miz�s entrance. God, I wouldn�t want to miss that. Miz says kids love Cena like they love the Jonas Brothers and Spongebob. Spongebob gets a MASSIVE pop. He categorizes Cena with Hanna Montana�.
Big Show & The Miz vs. Cena & Chavo
Big Show screams at The Miz to get his ass on the apron or he�ll club him with his hand that is totally the size of a frying pan. Cena tries to out punch Show but eats a side slam and several scoop slams. Cena trips Show up after a head butt and tries to put on the STF, but Show throws him off to the floor. Miz attacks him on the floor against the table. Show tells him not to touch Cena or else. OR ELSE. Cena is whipped into the corner but he dodges a charge by Show. Cena tries a scoop slam, only for Show to fall on him for two. Big Show starts driving some knees into him but Miz tags himself in. Show drops a leg drop on Cena. Miz rolls in and covers for two.
Miz works Cena over in the corner and delivers his leaping clothesline. Cena comes back with the general offense but Big Show tags himself in blindly during the FU. Big Show delivers a choke slam, but the ref didn�t see it so he drags Miz back to the corner to tag him in. Miz refuses to tag and Big Show knocks him out with one punch. LOL. Chavo then tags himself in and pins Miz. ROFLMAO.
Winners: Chavo & Cena
Cena then kindly gives an FU to Chavo. Cena calls out Show and goes toe to toe only to be shoved off. Cena fights him off in the corner and leaps off right into the big punch,customized bobbleheads. It�s like Bald Bull up in here,4 Tips That You Help Your Chances In Photo Contests. Show goes for a camel clutch while he�s at it.
Josh is in the back talking to MVP and Kofi,custom bobbleheads. They talk each other up as awesome. Josh asks who is gonna win to stir tricks up.. They both say they are gonna win. Kofi makes fun of the fact MVP is on the View. That�s pretty lame I must admit.
Kofi Kingston vs. MVP (US Title Match)
They tie up and Kofi is thrown off. Kofi tries for a trip but MVP skips over it. They tie up again and MVP works the arm, Kofi rolling through it but he keeps it locked on. MVP and Kofi roll together to keep the arm wrench held. Kofi kicks his way off but a follow up kick is blocked. Kofi works a headlock while MVP loudly calls moves like an idiot. Kofi works the headlock down but is countered by a head scissor. Kingston is wishing he�s African and not Jamaican so he could be good at other sports besides bobsledding. Kingston works a couple of rollups and gets a set of two counts. MVP rolls into the corner while Kofi taunts him. MVP runs him over with a huge boot for two of his own. MVP delivers ballin� and picks up another two. Kingston slides out of the corner through the ropes and catches MVP with a kick but he�s met up top. MVP follows him up for a superplex THAT WORKS! What the hell? MVP picks up a two count. Kingston dodges a clothesline and wraps around for a toll up for two. They start rolling through each other�s pins for two counts before clothes lining each other.
Both men stumble up to punches,personalized bobble heads. Kingston springs off the ropes from a toss by MVP but he sees it coming and catches him in a German suplex pin for two. Kingston delivers a nice sweep to pin for two of his own,customize bobblehead. MVP sets up the play maker but Kingston spin out into Trouble in Paradise. MVP ducks it and goes for a suplex. Kingston slips out but a hurricanrana is countered into a roll up,Print Materials Is All Our Concerns. Kingston rolls through and pins for three. New Champion! Awesome Match.
Winner: Kingston
The�.the match finished�holy crap. MVP offers the belt to Kingston himself. Elsewhere, Orton is advised not to fight Flair when Ric has nothing to lose by Dibiase. At ringside, Vickie arrives for her match with buckets of slop that certainly aren�t peas,personalized bobbleheads, creamed corn, and cereal.
Santino is here for his match now. He takes the slop and waves it menacingly at Vickie as Regal and Hardy sneak up from behind. He swings it a circle and splashes it all over them, but they beat him down afterward for his trouble. Exploder suplex from Regal. Clean the damn camera off guys. Hardy delivers a cast shot to the face.
And now a trailer for the ladder match at Extreme Rules, which is currently the only real match worth looking forward to in my opinion.
Orton is looking for Flair who is using his secret ninja training to somehow hide from sight. Orton looks through cars but Flair sneaks up from behind car to throw him into a steel door. Flair stomps him and kicks him into the door delivering some chops. Orton tries to fight back but keeps getting hit around and thrown into things and stomped on. The power of the champ, ladies and gentleman. Orton fights back and throws Flair through�some boxes. Orton is tossed onto some kind of box on wheels and wheeled off into a table. Flair goes back to the chops. Orton appears to have gotten cut as they fight back through the back toward the arena. It�s too dark to see what they are doing right now.Orton gains the upper hand as they fight out to the side of the ring ramp. Orton stomps on Flair all over the ring ramp. Orton slowly�ever�so�slowly punches on Flair.
God, this is boring as it could be. Flair hooks a crotch kick when Orton tries to throw him. Flair proceeds to stomp all over him. Orton rolls down the ramp from a chop. Flair pulls Orton back by the mouth and then punches him in the head a few times. And uh�for some reason the cage is down. Flair throws Orton into the side of it. Who the hell put that there? Flair slams Orton into the ring steps and chops him into the crowd. Flair clears the announce table and slams Orton back to the cage. Flair beats Orton onto the table and stomps his knee then he�does a Figure Four on it because this makes it more powerful I guess. Rhodes and Dibiase finally break things up and beat him down into the cage. Cole says this is a mugging. I assume they took his wallet? Orton screams for Legacy to keep beating Ric down while Batista is apparently cooling his heels somewhere.
Orton has them lock him and Flair into the cage. Rhodes doesn�t know how to lock the door,customize bobblehead, imbecile. Batista FINALLY comes down now and can�t get in. Climb the cage dummy�.you climb these things all the time,custom bobblehead, dumbass. Batista tries to climb like Smackdown vs. Raw mode but the force of an RKO on Flair knocks him off I guess. Batista takes his frustrations out on a trashcan. Orton delivers the soccer kick to Flair but the angle shows him utterly whiffing it as the show goes off the air.
Show Grade: C+
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